christy’s last blog post..Communication Strategy – Personal Edition

Ulla Hennig’s last blog post..Another Pastel Landscape

So I know where you’re coming from, and thank you for mentioning ‘The Dip’, I must check it out. And thanks too to Kate, for pointing out that there is a ‘stage three’. (I know that really, but it’s always worth being reminded).

Please don’t ‘give up’ this blog (or start another one somewhere else). If you need time away, or need to post less frequently, whatever, do so. Your Right People won’t mind if you’re not here all the time. And they won’t mind you off-loading your struggles on them. That’s what friends are for, right?

I can highly recommend a deep scented hot bath, candles, and a big glass of chilled Chablis or similar for getting rid of all that swamp mud.

@ Kate – me too! I couldn’t help get excited, but all the times in the past the dip happened, the little negative voices would shout “Quitter! See! You can’t maintain your interest in anything!” Strange how these seemingly minor descriptions of something can make such a huge difference! And yes, when depressed, there is a part of me that thinks my depressed thoughts are the realistic thoughts – that somehow when I was happy and energetic I had been bewitched by frivolity, thereby making those good times worthless. Now I’m older, I’ve learnt to stop worrying, knowing that all depressed bits won’t last forever and are skewed to hell!

@ Diana – That’s the last thing I want to happen. I love this sparkly, twisting transatlantic rope between us. When the seas are high, it’s good to have something to be tethered to. Glad to hear that someone else feels that way about Twitter, but I won’t give up on it yet.

Emma, if you ever abandon this blog, that tether that connects you and I halfway across the world would snap! And where would that leave me?

I feel alienated at Twitter too but it’s gotten better as I’ve had some direct conversations with some Tweeters. But it’s a mixed bag for me. Great place to meet people! But kinda like a singles bar too, LOL.

Diana’s last blog post..The wagons are circling…

I came across a similar thing recently by – oh poo, I’ve forgotten her name. It was one of the speaker’s at Jen’s virtual retreat. She said that there’s a three-stage process which people mistake for a two-stage process. Stage one: collect underpants excitement. You’re all keen, you have loads of ideas, and you’re convinced it’s going to rule. Stage two: depression. Suddenly you feel like it was a sucky idea after all and it’ll never work. And most people at this point go, ‘Oh well, back to reality,’ and that’s that. But that’s because they don’t realise that stage two is just a stage, and actually after that comes stage three profit, where you’re relatively calm and clear-sighted. At this point you can pick up the ideas you had in stage one and turn them into something useful.

This was absolutely revelatory to me. I had spent most of my life actually *afraid* of being excited about anything, because I ‘knew’ it was always followed by feeling crappy about it and ‘realising’ that life was just going to keep sucking after all. I felt that I was a total waster, because I had lots of ideas that I got excited about, but then lost that excitement, and so they never came to anything.

But now I know there’s nothing wrong with me, or with the way I react to ideas, or excitement, at all. It’s all just normal. You get excited; you drop; that’s normal. it doesn’t mean the idea was bad. It just means you wait till you feel less droppy, and then come back to it.

We do tend to assume that what you think when you’re depressed is more realistic than what you think when you’re excited. But it’s not true.

So, the writing and the commenting. I think it’s pretty unlikely that any of the lovely people who read your blog are going to mind you talking about whatever the hell you want. But as we’re looking for our right people, if they do, it’s ok. Because if they mind, then they’re not your right people. It’s not that you’re ‘wrong’; it’s that you and they are not right for each other. So there’s no actual loss.

Easy to say, I know, harder to feel. Expressing yourself is scary. have some big hugs of totally unconditional love.

Kate’s last blog post..A sudden insight about money

It’s OK to be where you are. Everybody goes there. I don’t know if that helps, but it’s OK, and it’s normal and it’s also very HARD.

Love,

J xx

Joely Black’s last blog post..And already I have two clients