Diverging in a wood
I struggled to get sleep last night wondering if self-publishing really was the best thing to do. I resigned myself to the thought that these doubts will always be here, all the way through this process. When the book is published, they’ll be replaced by a whole new cartful of doubts, so I may as well try to persevere. Why does it keep me awake though? Not only because it is one of the most important of my life aspirations, but also because there are so many conflicting opinions out there that it’s hard to find any reliable advice from the publishing industry.
I read a few blogs written by literary agents. Some say self-publish and be damned – it’s only proof that you are some kind of narcissist that mistakenly believes that your opinion of what is a good novel (or at least worthy of publication by whatever criteria they hold) is better than the publishing industry experts. One says if you do it, you could actively damage your future chances as a writer. Several have said move onto the next book, it will be better and may have a greater chance of being picked up. One says, hell if you do it well it really can’t hurt, just don’t expect any great success.
This is that subjective thing again isn’t it?
If these self-publish-and-be-damned agents always got it right – i.e. never rejected very successful authors twenty times or more before realising potential – I would be willing to accept their word as law. But they don’t. They miss good writers. They miss mediocre writers that somehow produce a bestselling novel. These agents have their own filters and likes and dislikes, and fundamentally, nobody knows what will be popular. So few books make it big, many fail, and the failures were picked as well as the successful ones. And seeing as I’m not even aiming for wide commercial success, I don’t see why I should worry too much about what they feel would be ‘popular and commercial’ anyway.
As for actively damaging future chances, I just don’t know. If a book is self-published, is sold to a hundred people and then disappears, I’m not sure how that does hinder future chances. If the rights to the book were given over to a vanity press, that would be different as I guess it would be trickier to be picked up. The jury is out until I learn more about that opinion.
As for moving onto the next book, I have heard about the risks of getting fixated on a first book before, and I can see how it happens. It’s the first one that has turned into a whole book after all. I don’t know how many of you have started books only to have them fizzle out, but I certainly have. When the first one is actually finished and real, there is so much emotionally invested in it, you want it to succeed. I have two other trilogies I want to write after Twenty Years Later. I have even plotted one out and written chucks of both of the others, but fundamentally, TYL just won’t let me go yet, and I am happy to stay with it and get it out there. Maybe I should just be moving on to the next project, but I don’t want to. I believe in it.
So I guess I am leaning towards the ‘hell it can’t hurt’ guy. But only leaning, as I think it is impossible to look for guidance in this from the conventional publishing world. How can I look for advice on being outside of the established system from people who are in that system (especially when that system is going through a tough time)?
So if that’s the case, why does this keep me awake at night? Well, for me there is a sense of the two paths diverging. One is the path that may still lead me to a standard route to publication. Keep revising the query letter, keep contacting the agents, keep at it until the list is utterly exhausted. (Keep guessing at what they want, keep trying to jump through hoops).
The other path is self-publication.
Why not do both? Because both take a lot of time and resources, financial and emotional. I have been trying the conventional path for a long time now, and with the slow painful death of traditional publishing models coupled with the opportunities the internet provides, I just don’t have faith in the system any more.
Hi Emma. I’ve just had a look at your blog and it’s spectacularly interesting. Who among us hasn’t agonised over the possibility of self-publishing? I certainly have, and I’ve read all the same self-contradictory advice you have. If you’re really going ahead with this – or even if you just continue to agonise so eloquently – I plan to be along for the ride.
Consider me subscribed!
Graham Storrs’s last blog post..A Plug For AWM Online
Just found you at havi’s place. I will be following your posts because I love writers and I am now hooked on seeing your new book to fruition, whether self-published or not. As an artist, I struggle with the pros and cons of self-representation vs. vying for gallery space. It’ll be interesting to me, to find out what you decide!
Diana Maus’s last blog post..Why Andrea Runyan inspired me to have a blog
Hi Graham! Welcome aboard the good ship Post-Apocalyptic Publishing. So delighted you’d like to voyage with me – the food isn’t great and there’s no rum, nor any guide of map, but there’s plenty of room and big horizons ahead.
And hello to you Diana! How wonderful that you love writers – especially even unpublished ones as we often feel very unloved. I had no idea that visual artists face the same kind of dilemma, have you experienced both or only one so far?