I saw a tweet earlier, and it made me absolutely furious. Now that doesn’t often happen to me, so I had a cup of tea. I was still angry. I had a shower. I was still angry. So here I am.
I won’t name the tweeter, as I think this post could get me into trouble enough, but it was an agent. And they said “Loads of queries written by query writing services. If you can’t write a query, what does that say about your writing ability?”
Well just wait a cotton-picking minute there! Oh my goodness, that makes me so mad! I’m struggling to order my thoughts well enough to get them on the page, so bear with me if this goes all over the place.
Ignoring the part about query writing services (I never even knew they existed) I am absolutely horrified to see this for two major reasons: one – that someone would directly equate the ability to write a stormingly good query letter with the ability to write a stormingly good novel and two: that other writers might have seen that tweet and thought “Well, that sums it up, doesn’t it? I’ll give up on the dream now as this query letter hell I’m in shows I can’t write.”
Actually there are three main weapons reasons – the third is seeing an agent being so insensitive to how damn hard it is for authors to write three pithy paragraphs that obey all the rules (some of which are still a mystery to us), comply with the right parts of the contradictory advice on query letter writing out there and make the novel that we’ve spent hundreds of hours on sound like the most original money-spinner novel on this earth that’s completely different to the other 300 queries that arrived that day.
<pauses for breath. Considers more tea.>
Let me go back to that first point; the equating of the ability to write a query letter with the ability to write novels (I’m assuming it’s novels here.) Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t think of two more different skill sets as a writer. I write business copy for clients (some of which is sales copy and similar to query letters) and a lot of fiction too, and I know that different parts of my brain are used for each type.
Yes, of course there’s an overlap. The ability to phrase things well, the use of correct grammar and the demonstration that you’re not a screaming loon who thinks that 120,000 words about a kettle and it’s relationship with a piece of mouldy bread is the next Twilight – these are useful in both query letter writing and novel writing. But it ends there. To write a novel requires a feel for plot, pace, characterisation, a great story, compelling characters and the ability to keep people interested for hours, and that’s just for starters.
Keep readers of novels interested for hours. Not snag the attention of a busy agent who has two seconds to decide whether to look at the sample chapters or not.
Not to mention the fact that when you write a book you are so close to it that it can be nigh on impossible to encapsulate it – not only succinctly but in a sales appealing way – in a paragraph or two. It took me so long to get my query letter right – and it required months of not being involved with the novel (and a great conversation with my best friend whilst walking through the local park) – but I’m pretty certain that during the time that I was sending out the duff query letters, I could write novels. And stories. And blog posts. Oh yes, actually, there’s proof: the novel didn’t change between the time I sent out the last batch that didn’t work and the changed query letter that got my publisher.
In my opinion, the ability to write a query letter – or rather inability – says nothing about whether you can write a novel. It does, however, say everything about whether you can write a query letter – and whether you know how to sell your own book, and that you can determine the right person to try and sell it to. All of which can take an agonisingly long time to figure out. And blimey, wouldn’t it be nice if it was just the writing the book part that authors needed to worry about?
The second point: that it might make writers struggling with a query letter lose heart. Oh I’ve been there, but thank goodness I stopped reading the sites out there that just constantly spouted doom and gloom about getting published when I realised it was eroding my dream. Instead I deleted those feeds, found more positive sources of advice, like Alan Rinzler, Nathan Bransford and The Query Tracker blog, and kept at it. I know there are several writers amongst my blog readers who are at that stage of trying to get published and it can be soul-destroying enough without comments like that one flying around the web.
Lastly, the third point. It’s the tone that gets me. That implicit sneer: “How pathetic that this writer has resorted to using a third party to write this query letter.” That suggests to me a person who has no idea what it’s like to have worked so hard on a book, to only meet with failure again and again at the querying stage and keep trying, despite the odds. Don’t get me wrong; no-one is making us do this, it’s entirely voluntary, but please, a little sympathy and the briefest thought about what effect you may have on us poor souls? And yes, many might fail because the book isn’t good enough, but that’s not my point here – and another world of pain altogether.
Okay, it may well look bad to have someone else write the letter, but I can see why it would be tempting. Query letter writing is so hard, if you’re at that stage, don’t feel bad that you’re struggling, don’t give up because some seem to think that it accurately reflects your writing ability. It doesn’t. It’s just a different skill set, and one that needs a tonne of practice and distance from the novel and on top of all that, a whole lot of luck that one agent or publisher will take a look at your sample and see your real writing ability there instead.
There. I said it. Cup of tea anyone?
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Agree completely. Query letters are easy when you have an advertising/PR/sales mind. By some measure, people good at that are not normally also the ones responsible for brilliant fiction. Totally different. Tea for two.
I also agree. Writing a query letter is not easy for a fiction writer. I would bet that even a non-fiction writer would have a hard time composing one. And then there are a plethora of query letter examples that contradict each other.
A writer may take years to perfect her or his novel only to find that she or he must then set aside several months to perfect a query letter specifically suited to each editor.
An aside: I would be willing to bet that what that agent received were query letters modeled on examples. That would be so tempting for a frustrated writer to do.
Herbal tea here, please. No cream, no sugar.
Nice rant – and I’m so with you, I couldn’t agree more!
… And a a cup of tea would be perfect. (Milk, no sugar, please.)
What a beautiful example of ranting positively.
I think you’ve just made the case for precisely why novelists *should* employ query writing services (in fact I can think of one novel writing tea drinking split world living writer who might be exceptionally good at it)
A lovely rant! I couldn’t agree more with your points. I tend to see the sneer in twitter comments like that, as well, and as an editor, I try to avoid that sort of thing as much as possible. Why? Because I’m a writer, too.
Writers work darn hard, and they have feelings, too.
From the editor aspect of things, I try to ease people’s minds about a query letter by explaining it ought to be a kind of handshake. A query letter doesn’t need to sell your novel, it really just needs to meet, greet, and get out of the way. Let your novel sell your novel.
Agents/editors/publishers that get a zillion submissions a day use the query letter as a reason to not have to read the novel, and there’s precious little that can be done about that. No query letter is perfect. I do prefer the kind that reads professionally and doesn’t hype, though. “The Next Big Thing for your Press” letters still come in to me, and they’re off-putting every time.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I would love some tea, thank you. And I love this post. Thank you.
If you follow the tweeter’s logic, then presumably JK Rowling should be expected to write all the press releases for her books’ release, write the screenplay for the films, write the back cover blurb, come up with the taglines for the posters, and write the contracts she uses with her agent and publishers. It’s all writing.
You write beautifully even when you’re ranting.
I do understand that editors work very, very hard. And that they receive so many submissions daily that they need to form a sort of triage system so as not to get overwhelmed by the sheer numbers.
And it is unfortunate that they may throw away a book that may be the best story ever because the query letter offended their sensibilities.
Yes. I do understand.
It’s just that I have been seeing too many tweets from editors that fall under the “sneering” category. It’s a hard business for everyone. And the “Hah! You’re too stupid for us,” tone is unfortunate, and unprofessional. They can think it, but tweet about it? It’s better to find go seek someone else who truly loves the job.
And, no. I have not submitted anything to anyone yet so I’m not harboring a grudge.
Yes, thank you for the tea.
Funny how 140 characters can tell you so much about a person.
Question is, how does the agent know a Q letter has been ghost written? What’s the tip off? Or is the assumption that any letter that solidly follows the recommended form must obviously have come from a service?
In a world of info overload we are all looking for excuses to filter out things that take our attention (as Jackie mentions). The problem is that for someone searching for interesting things to publish (or in my case, make) the things that break the mold often come in ugly packages. You can get so caught up in a system that delivers solid results, that the system itself prevents you from discovering the break out result.
Love the Rant.
Beautiful rant! Agree completely.
I myself can write great queries and synopses…for other writers. I have a hell of a time writing them for my own work. I really wish you could tell us who that agent was so we could avoid him/her.
I lean towards the tweeter’s point of view. I feel people employ query services because they don’t the guts to lie about how good their novel is.
Remember that you’re forming a relationship with this person…perhaps a lifetime relationship. Do you really want to start it with words that are not your own? Do you really want to possibly misrepresent your book or yourself?
I’m going to take my chances writing it myself. I consider it part of the job.
I do empathize with the feeling that led you to write this. Querying is a complete crapshoot, and I don’t think even the agents themselves know what attracts them to a particular letter. But if I paid good money for a query letter that failed, I *really* be pissed.
This is excellent, thank you for writing it. Truth!
Again, just to point out one very overused and misunderstood purpose to a query letter (thank you to Iapetus999 for mentioning): the “lying” about how great your book is. Too many authors use a query letter as a sort of press release, and over-hype it’s amazingness. Trust me, this does little to convince an agent/editor/publisher that your book is amazing. It does, however, come across as lying. Or at least exaggerating. The person whom you’re querying needs a snapshot of you as a professional and the gist of the novel. The gist = written as a grabber, if possible.
There are still books and even instructors out there teaching writers to write query letters as though the “Movie Voice Guy” should be reading them. Don’t fall for it.
Thanks, Emma. I’m about to start querying agents for my new novel and I need all the support I can get.
Terrific rant, Emma. I must admit, even beyond the challenge of writing the novel, distilling it all into a query letter that will make an agent swoon & squeal and the Unimaginable Brilliance of This A3ZOME MANUSCRIPT OMG! is not a fun thing to contemplate.
So “not fun” in fact, that it makes me question if the whole thing is worth the effort. It’s like being a perfectly wonderful person, but never getting to dance because my eyes are the wrong color.
Thanks to your rant, I think I’ll keep trying.
Loads of boring tweets posted by agents. If you can’t write a good tweet, what does that say about your ability to recognize a gifted writer?
Couldn’t resist…
As always Emma I have fallen madly in love with your writing. Fortunately I don’t have to write query letters in my line of work, but I would liken it to the process of having to write a technical explanation for a clueless and unreceptive salesdroid.
There was a Dilbert cartoon that put it very well years ago, Dilbert is asked to “Just sum it up in a couple of sentences” by a marketeer, in the next panel he’s holding a big sheaf of papers covered in writing and saying to Alice: “He nearly had me at one point, then I used a semicolon”.
I see why it made you so angry. Pithy statements like this are why twitter can be so bloody annoying at times. “Advice” like a dull knife.
(Brings in a tray filled with mugs of tea)
Oh you wonderful, lovely, brilliant people. I have no idea why I was so worried about posting this now! I’m wondering whether I should let my firey side out more often!
@Listy – your Dilbert quote made me giggle so loud my husband came to investigate – it appeals to my coding geekery and my writing geekery at the same time! Love it x
@Steph – I snorted tea at that tweet. Ohhh I am so tempted to put it out on Twitter, I have to sit on my hands!
@Tony – I know how you feel, I’m dreading the next time I have to do it. But we have a wonderful community of writerly friends now, don’t we? We can all look after each other. x
@Graham – good luck my lovely, I’m here cheering you on and waving virtual pom-poms.
@Jackie – thanks for your thoughts, it goes to shwo that a) editors are human and nice sometimes and b) there is a lot of contradictory advice out there
I trust yours though, for what it’s worth.
Allison – I’m tempted to tell, but I think it’s best not to.
Mr Lister I loved your Rowling point!
Ah, I have to dash, but to all of you, thank you! Wonderful comments, wonderful humour and solidarity. Gorgeous.
I really appreciated your rant. And, I agree with the Rowling point. I write all kinds of things from technical research reports, nonfiction self-help, marketing, fiction and poetry. And, it takes such different skill sets to do any of them well, which I am still trying to do. It is even difficult at times to switch between genres of fiction.
As Tony mentioned, it is disheartening to writers that the query process is so challenging and often arbitrary. And, that those in the jobs to read queries may be ruthless at times.
You reminded us of a very important fact – and Marisa hit on it too – YOU DON’T HAVE TO BELIEVE, OR EVEN LISTEN TO ALL THE BLOGS AND TWEETS THAT ARE DISPARAGING AND DISCOURAGING. Our job is hard enough – look for the sites that encourage you! And, this is one of them.
Thanks for writing a rant that is encouraging to writers – we are all in the same boat and support from each other is what can keep us going through those choppy seas.
I have written fifteen query letters so far, and all of them are different in some way. Query writing is a difficult skill to master, especially when you’re not receiving feedback as to what’s not working for the agent. Is it the query? The sample chapters? Both?
All I can do is keep tweaking and hope I get it right at some point.
this is a justified rant, agents who are time-pressed glean too much from query letters
Some great points about writing query letters here. A lot of agent blogs and tweets do seem to have increased the pressure on writers to come up with the perfect outstanding letter that also conforms to the contradictory advice.
I can’t help wondering though, whether that original tweeter was genuinely just asking a question. If so, you’ve certainly answered it here.
I have to agree with you. The difference between writing a query letter and writing a novel is like the difference between writing a memoire and a high fantasy novel. There is no comparison! The two style are utterly and completely different and just because you’re good at one does NOT mean you’ll be good at the other. Perhaps this agent just hadn’t had their coffee yet and was having a bad day full of bad query letters cause I’m thinking they would know that. . .
Coincidentally, I was a panelist on the topic of query letters at a convention this weekend, and I mentioned this tweet and blog as a discussion point. I got a terrific response. The editors were split on seeing the agent’s point of view. We conjectured what could have been the tip-off to the agent, and if a generic sounding letter might indeed be more of a turn off than a turn on (not having all the facts, of course).
Great point/counterpoint info! Thank you for the fodder.
Wonderful rant. Great tea.
What more could one want? (Oh yes, chocolate HobNob!)
Bang on, Emma. I, too, stopped reading or caring about the plethora of contradictory advice, the endless rules and the relentless arrogance that face us in the literary world. I decided instead to focus my energy on creating a strong writing style, believable characters and interesting stories. From there, we’ll see where hard work and determination will lead.
Meanwhile, I’ve met so many worthy authors and struggling unpublished writers — a word of encouragement here or there costs me nothing and gives me a firmer sense of my own accomplishments.
Let those who espouse the rules of landing an agent or publisher carry on their business. I’ll carry on mine: writing, sharing my stories and growing as an artist.
Not being a fiction writer, I’ll confess to not really knowing what a query letter was when I started reading your post, but your post and the comments filled me in very well. Excellent rant, Emma.
A lovely encouragement to all writers. Thank you. And ta for the cuppa, too.
Thank you for the tea. I couldn’t agree with you more, Emma. Thank you for saying it so eloquently for the rest of us.