Today has been hard, and my brain is buzzing with all kinds of thoughts and I figured, what the hell, I’ll come here and do a brain dump and see what all you incredibly wise people think.
Quite frankly I’m facing a very tiny existential crisis. That makes it sound rather grand, probably more grand than it should, but I have been wrestling with quite a lot of unhappiness with aspects of my life and it’s coming to a head.
What it boils down to is this: I want to write lots of fiction. I need to pay the mortgage. These two things are currently incompatible.
My heart is telling me that I need to change my life to shape it around my fiction writing. At the moment, writing fiction is shoe-horned around the edges, and this is the essence of the crisis: I know what I want and need to do with my life, but at the moment I can’t do it as often as I need.
I keep telling myself to stop thinking irresponsible thoughts and just keep my head down and keep things as they are. I can’t take the risk that my writing will be successful enough to support us, and it sure as hell won’t happen over night.
Then today, I received the latest newsletter from the ace Freak Revolution lovelies Pace and Kyeli which was all about asking for what you want, and the (shocking) revelation that if you ask for something, you might just get it.
Hmmm. Asking… getting…
How much hard is associated with those two concepts alone? But I am writing this in the safety of my living room, and right now I won’t publish this, so let’s just try this out for a moment.
I went freelance in April, and it took many months to get my head around the kind of business I wanted to launch. I am finding it hard to put my business self out there though. I guess I’m going through the learning curve that I had to endure here. Remember when I was terrified to post anything? Remember when I used to break into a sweat each time I published a post? Remember the hours of agonising about whether to put the prologue up? Ha ha. Look back and laugh. Now there are podcasts and a short story club and almost a year of posts (oh my!) and the fear is all but gone.
I’m scared of writing this though. I’m worried I’m crossing the streams Ghostbuster style, but I’ll keep writing, in the hope it’ll help me process this stuff.
Ask… get… But how do I ask? Well, this is where I need to bring another of my heroes in: Havi.
As you know, I am a huge great big fan-girl of the Havinator. So much so that there is a new verb in my house: to Havi, which means: to say some stuff that might sound absolutely crazy but is actually so shockingly wise and epiphany-tastic that it demands a cup of tea and reflection. (I’m so glad I have a husband who understands that.)
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Havi has this thing on her blog called her Very Personal Ads, and this is all about asking for what you need, and being absolutely fine with that. I’ve been reading these for a while and thinking “that’s so cool” in a totally passive ‘it’ll-never-work-for-me-though’ kind of way. I am rubbish at asking for anything, I can just about manage requests for cups of tea.
Then that Freak Revolution newsletter landed and it hit me. I can do this too. I can ask, and who knows, I might just get. And don’t worry, internal scary voice of fear and doom, we’re just writing right now. Nothing more. No publish button in sight.
So, let’s do this Havi style, with my very own Very Personal Ad.
What I want
Two new clients for my monthly online pr service or monthly content writing service
And not just any two clients. Oh no sir, I want lovely clients, clients who are personable and great to talk to (as I’ll be talking to them every month). These clients will understand the value of what I do, and how it helps their business. They might have worked with an SEO company recently, or had a site built by an ace web-design company who really knows their stuff and has already taught them all about the rudiments of SEO and the need for content.
I know these people are out there. We just haven’t found each other yet.
Ways this could work
Someone might work for a company that needs this service
Someone might be a web designer or SEO person (a real one) who would like to partner with me
Someone who knows me online might connect me with someone like one of the above
My commitment
To continue to try and be brave and persevere through the “but it’s all so scary” stage
To be courageous in talking about my business more
To write blindingly good stuff for these people when I find them
Why I am asking for this
This is a break from Havi’s format, but I feel I want to explain why I am asking this here and now. I felt real resistance about asking for this here, where I talk about my writing and more personal things, but this is actually part of the same thing. The reason I need two clients is that it would give me the income to be able to move away from other work that pays little and eats time.
And what that boils down to is this: two clients would enable me to write two short stories a month for my short story club instead of just one, and have time to work on the Twenty Years Later trilogy, whilst the mortgage is being paid. So that’s why I am here asking. Ultimately, this time next year my first book will be on sale, but I also want to be writing more short stories for my lovely club members and I have two other novels that are simply desperate to crawl out of my head. I need the time to write, so I need to get my new business flying to support that financially. Two new clients = enough money to replace poorly paid work = more time to write fiction.
What’s not to love?
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
You’re so brave Emma! If I could help realistically, I would, but I have no useful contacts, so instead I shall just offer my support, and my time if you can use it in any way.
Social psychologists have long known that if you ask somebody for something AND then give them the reason why you want it, you are exponentially more likely to get what you want.
I have no need for the services you offer (at least I don’t think so), but knowing why you want the work would mean if I did I’d be calling you know.
It suddenly becomes more personal and we would have a connection because who doesn’t admire somebody that wants money to fulfill an ambition as to wanting money to buy a bigger car?
Good for you for putting it ‘out there’ and good for P & K for triggering that action!
Can I get all life coach anal here? Edit out the ‘Try’ in your first commitment
I think this is wonderful and courageous and awesome. Lots and lots of adjectives, all of them admiration.
It’s so scary asking for what you want. I find it so hard to do. So yay you! And if it’s encouraging, I did a VPA for a new job and got one in 48 hours. Sometimes it is frighteningly effective.
I’m totally crossing my fingers for you and if I know of anyone who fits your ad, I will send them your way!
Em,
You have so much strength and courage to put this out there. I’ll be keeping you in thoughts and prayers that your wishes are answered and just wish that I had contacts in the UK to refer to you.
You Go, Girl!!
Stepping outside the bounds of “comfort” opens up to new experiences and the chance to grow – to flourish. I applaude you for doing this and posting it up.
I know exactly what you mean about asking and getting. Even after being a Mum for five and a half years – three as a magazine editor, I still struggle with asking for help, thinking that it is somehow weak or I’m not good enough to receive it. I keep chipping away at it though and in the Universal flow of things, the good you do for others, the hard work out put in, the whispers of what you need, they all do come back to you. I’m certain this will be a turning point for you Em.
I’m not going to say good luck, because it is not needed. Somehow I feel it is already heading your way.
I wish you all the best! Congratulations on getting through one scary step. I don’t even know you, yet I’m proud of you!
Fabulous post Em! I also love Havi’s Very Personal Ads, so I know where you’re coming from.
Those two lovely, personable clients are probably speeding their way towards you at this very moment …
Oh boy! Em, if there was ever anyone who deserved to succeed, I mean really succeed, it’s you. Your courage and writing have been a total inspiration to me. I’m sat here at my PC (with a cup of coffee, sorry, no tea!) positively willing those two new clients to get in touch with you. You are in my thoughts.
I just wanted to come back in and add (after reading Julie’s comment above) that Emma’s lovely personable new clients don’t necessarily have to be in the UK. It’s one of the joys of the whole online community …
First off, we are all thrilled that you are feeling better and over the flu!! All of your readers and fans are quietly pulling for you to get those two new clients. Just because you feel this is one way to achieve your goals does not mean it is the only way. Perhaps you might want to add a donation button somewhere on your website.
I know that it is hard to ask people, straight out, to just give you money. What you may not be considering is that there are many people just like me who may not have much money but would be happy to contribute five or $10 on occasion just because we appreciate what you do!! That is more than just a hint: I am telling you that I WANT to contribute so you just need to make it easier to do!! We are always wishing you the best of luck. Keep up the good work and good things will continue to happen. Now spend a few minutes tickling that baby for me!!
Way to go, Em! I’m glad our seed took root. You are watering it and growing like crazy. (:
“Someone might be a web designer or SEO person (a real one)”
Attitude adjustment required? You are a real SEO person!
As a freelancer you need to be confident of your own ability. OK, so maybe you don’t feel confident all the time, but when you’re hunting for clients your attitude needs to be: “I am absolutely the best at what I do. I can help your business.”
Now OK, you maybe think of yourself primarily as a copywriter, but that’s no reason to minimise your own SEO skills. Chances are the customers who most need you are those who need more than one aspect of your skillset.
And if you absolutely can’t believe in yourself, at least fake it convincingly.
Why the reticence about asking this question? You’re a damn fine search engine copywriter and this blog is your forum, why not shout about it! You don’t want to? Great. I will then.
Right. I’m a search engine marketing tech specialist and web developer who latterly worked for one of Emma’s customers. As such I sat one desk over from her on days she came into the office and dealt on a day to day basis with both her output and the people she created it for. I’ve seen it really work for them, for example the small company website for which she wrote regular syndicated content being transformed over a year from attracting timewasters to industry authority attracting highly targeted customers. Yes, she’s that good at what she does!
Hello, both the services you’re offering look like ones people on the e-campaigning forum might appreciate. I think you can join their mailing list here http://fairsay.com/networks/ecampaigning-forum and there are semi-regular requests for people who can solve SEO problems, and probably plenty of opportunity to talk about content creation. So I’d suggest signing up and waiting to see if anything interesting drops into your inbox in the first week or two.
All NGO driven, which while not a guarantee of lovely clients is at least a positive indicator.
All the best.